So Snuggly

How has your week been going? I can tell you about mine. It has consisted of nonstop cuddling, break downs (mostly from me haha) and feeling a massive amount of just being straight up OVERWHELMED!

I know, it happens and it will get easier right? Still. This week I have been stuck in a rut and I am ready to see the light at the end of it! I know you may be assuming that I am talking about my child in this post but the truth is despite him being "the reason" that my week has not gone as planned I would gladly lock myself and my family up in the house and never leave again. He is everything.

What makes my week overwhelming is my, what seem to be uncontrollable, emotions! They have a steel grip on me that will not let up. Babies are babies and growing is hard! Why is it when there are weeks were we need to take the time to snuggle our babies we are also the hardest on ourselves? All week I have been focused on my feeling of failure.

Failure at what you might ask? Whelp. EVERYTHING! Failures of making my son feel more comfortable, not being able to accomplish or keep track of every single task at work, not being able to spend time with my fiancé or keep track of our dog (I locked her out back for about five hours today- whoops), not to mention the house which I am not sure how it is even still standing as it seems to continuously be hit by a never ending tornado.

BUT WHY?! Why are these all "failures" in my mind? They shouldn't be. We are alive, loving and have a roof over our heads. It cannot get much better than that. I could blame society for the undeniable pressure that is put on all mothers let alone working mothers. But today, I will blame my emotions.

So here's to getting my blood drawn to test (most) of my hormone and vitamin D levels yesterday. I cannot wait to see the results, will keep you posted each step of the way back to my new normal. Until next time.